I've spent the past week in Bermuda having non-stop sex with Dominican women and sipping margaritas with an ex-British police officer named Margarita, so I apologize for not updating my internet blog. Sorry.
But there's good news. Updates, bitches!
Coming later this week:
- I'll be analyzing the fucked up-ness of the Grammys and why Coldplay's Viva La Vida is the best thing to happen to humanity since the cancellation of Full House.
- I'll ask: can you get a pass for killing someone if you're likable? Oh, Mr. Moseby.
- What's worse: AIDS or Tyler Perry's House of Payne?
- And, I'll give you the real reason why Paul Blart was such a big hit. Here's a hint: it has nothing to do with overweight comedians on segways.
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