I hope you're sitting down when you read this, America. Because I'm about to blow your fucking mind.
Everyone knows the story of The Beatles 1967 masterwork Sgt. Peppers. It's the album that "officially" marked the beginning of the concept album. The record's unified themes and organization, structured around a fake concert performance, are legendary. Many a band since have tried to duplicate this formula to mixed results. Nine times out of ten, they usually half-ass the conceptual design and vaguely hint at the idea of sonic and/or lyrical unity.
But in 2001, everything changed.
Hardcore music purists dismissed the boy band *NSYNC as trite, disposable garbage served up to the masses on an overproduced, over-sterilized pop platter. But we just call those people fucking retarded.
The truth is, *NSYNC was as gifted and as talented as any pop entity that had ever been crafted. Their first two albums boasted a slew of memorable singles, and their proper sophomore album No Strings Attached shattered Billboard records.
But it wasn't until their third and final album that the band would discover the fountain of pure and undeniable genius. 2001's Celebrity was seen by most reasonable critics as a mature and sophisticated *NSYNC record. The kind of pop album that could be genuinely respected on many platforms, including the world of hip hop and R&B. The singles "Girlfriend" and "Gone" were staples on urban radio stations, making *NSYNC the only boy band to earn genuine cred from black people worldwide.
Of course, everyone knows the story that followed Celebrity's success. Justin Timberlake pursued a solo career, and he subsequently exploded. JC Chasez would also release a solo record, but the album was met with far less enthusiasm and success (though, to be fair, it's a solid record). Lance Bass would come out of the closet. Joey Fatone would parade around on reality shows. And Chris Kirkpatrick would go back to doing whatever the fuck Chris Kirkpatrick does.
But it's times like these that compel me go back and analyze these moments. Celebrity was seen as the album that established the group (or more specifically Timberlake and Chasez) as credible songwriters. But what was it about the album that clicked?
So I decided to dive into Celebrity a little deeper to get to the bottom of this mystery. And I came to a shocking and earth-shattering conclusion:
*NSYNC's Celebrity is a concept album.
Now, look, I know what you're thinking: "But Anonymous Blogger, that can't be right. It's fucking *NSYNC."
And I understand where you're coming from. But before you jump all over me and call me delusional, let's take a look at the album track-by-track and see just what I'm talking about. Prepare to be floored:
1. "Pop"
This is the album's prologue. It establishes the current state of the character of "the celebrity". In the context of the band itself, the song is a defiant defense of pop as a genre. It's music crafted for the masses.
Here, *NSYNC, under the guise of the celebrity, stand up to defend what they do and how they do it. This is the pressure and criticism that the celebrity is under.
2. "Celebrity"
The album's true beginning. We're introduced to the celebrity's love life. He is in the middle of a parasitic relationship. In the song, he asks the simple question, "Would you be so into me, if I wasn't a celebrity?" It's a rhetorical question, though. He knows the answer.
So he makes the decision that it's time to move on:
So now, I'm, leaving you behind
I've found somebody
Who can love me for me
And that's all I need
But before he can leave her.....
3. "The Game Is Over"
The celebrity discovers that this chick has been cheating on him the whole time. He's infuriated. He finally slams the door shut on her declaring, "the game is over".
So, now, going back to a line from Track 2, in which the celebrity stated "I've found somebody [else]", we transition into.....
4. "Girlfriend"
The celebrity discovers a new girl and straight up tells her "you should be my girlfriend". The song's hook contains the line "I'll be your shining star", which has a double meaning. On one hand, the line can be interpreted along with the succeeding line "the one to show you where you are" as the speaker saying he'll always be there to help this girl. It can also be seen as an obvious nod to the fact that yes, the speaker is actually a star.
Simple enough. Moving right along.
5. "The Two of Us"
The celebrity's feelings for this new girl are cemented. He really really likes her. The song's carousel, child-like sound enhances the purity and beauty of the romance:
Nothing in this world could ever bring us down
Baby I'll be there, telling you I care, this I swear
Girl it's just the two of us, the two of us
But like any good story, things take a turn for the worst.....
6. "Gone"
The girl leaves him. Tears abound. But the celebrity can't explain why:
And I know in my heart, you can't say that you don't love me too
The song's bare, minimalist sound serves to heighten the sense of sudden lonliness the celebrity finds himself in. He can't justify why the girl of his dreams just left him. This feeling of desperation is carried into....
7. "Tell Me, Tell Me...Baby"
In a frenetic manner the celebrity pleads with the girl, asking her to explain why she's done this to him. He was sure she was the one:
It couldn't be more right
We are what they call
A perfect match
How come you don't want to love me?
At this point, the celebrity doesn't know what do. So, like any guy with a bunch of money and cred, he does the next best thing: he goes to the club.....
8. "Up Against the Wall"
The celebrity moves on and decides to go clubbing, in hopes of finding a new chick. And lo and behold, he does:
The smoke cleared
And I saw a beautiful lady
The lights, went, low
And the disco ball came down
She walked up to, me, slow
And you know what happens now
The girl was fine
And she knew she had game
What more do I have to say?
Ingeniously, since the celebrity has just gone through a horrible breakup, he doesn't seem to be in the mood for a serious relationship. He just wants casual fun with this new chick:
Ask me about tomorrow
You know that
I don't care at all
I just got caught up
During the song, the celebrity refers to the girl in the third person using the word "she". But during the song's closing moments, a quick riff comes in and briefly changes the perspective. He suddenly refers to her as "you":
You had me up against the wall
This is completely contradictory to the previous lines of "she had me up against the wall". It's almost as if instead of this girl just being an object to him, he realizes she can be more. This is the beginning of a new relationship.
But the celebrity, being the guy that he is, wakes up....
9. "See Right Through You"
Now, here's where things get interesting. The celebrity and this new chick are kicking it, but he discovers that this chick isn't much different than the other chicks. She cheats on him, too:
Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
I see a man who thought you loved me
You played me like a fool
The celebrity is pissed. He's tired of all the bullshit. The song's surprisingly aggressive nature displays this to the tee:
Tell me girl what's his name?
What'd he do to take you?
Does he freak you the way that I do?
This is the sign of a guy whose heart has been broken so many times, he's getting fed up with it.
So the celebrity realizes that this club chick was useless to him, and decides to leave her behind. But the catch is, he never actually declares it. He simply says:
I'll be moving on you'll see
And you'll be just a memory
He's speaking in the future tense. The break-up hasn't happened yet. Keep this in mind for Track 11.
So with another breakup on the horizon, the celebrity begins to think about the one that got away....
10. "Selfish"
The celebrity returns to the girl from "Girlfriend" and asks, again, why she didn't want him anymore:
I just don't understand
Why you're running from a good man, baby
Why you wanna turn your back on love
Why you've already given up
See, I know you've been hurt before
But I swear I'll give you so much more
I swear I'll never let you down
Cause I swear it's you that I adore
And I can't help myself babe
Cause I think about you constantly
And my heart gets no rest over you
What's brilliant about this verse is just how desperate it is. Look how many times the celebrity uses the phrase "I swear". He's pleading with her, on his knees, "I swear, girl, I swear."
Those are the cries of a man who is, as the song states, "hopelessly in love".
So now that he's re-established the line of communication with this girl, he returns to close up shop on the current girl.....
11. "Just Don't Tell Me That"
The celebrity returns to the current girlfriend, to tell her that it's over. Unlike the girl of his dreams, this chick is vapid:
You like to be seen
At every party at the Playboy Mansion
You like to drive in my Jag
And spend, every dollar of my credit
It makes perfect sense. He met this chick at a club. So of course she's nothing more than a gold digging whore.
He officially dumps her. So now, with everything behind him, he returns to the girl of his dreams one last time....
12. "Something like You"
Poetically, the celebrity declares his undying devotion for the girl. And apparently, it finally works:
Something happens when you look at me I forget to speak
Something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak
Could it be true, is this what God has meant for me?
'Cause baby I can't believe, that something like you could happen to me
The song ends with the line:
Can't believe that you happened to me
He's speaking in the past tense. The girl is his. The celebrity is content. He has all the fame and the fortune, and now he has the girl he always wanted. With all of that finally resolved, we reach the end....
13. "Do Your Thing"
In light of all his experiences, this is the epilogue in which the celebrity encourages those who follow him to just "do your thing". The song directly ties back to the album's prologue, in which the celebrity defended what he does. "Pop" is HIS thing.
There ain't no excuse for losing your feet
Drowning in your defeat, on this road of life
There ain't no excuse for coming up short, the ball is in your court
So reach up and touch the sky
It's an inspirational song, and closes the book on the story of the celebrity.
And there you have it.
I have to give the band their props. Not many people could come up with something as subtlety brilliant as this. For all their detractors, *NSYNC was as ambitious as any musical act the world has ever seen. It's sad to think that Justin Timberlake's booming solo success will inevitably deny us from ever hearing another record from the collective five, but that's just how the cookie crumbles.
All we can do is sit back and enjoy an album like Celebrity for what it is: a pop opera in the grandest of terms.
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