As much as we try to deny it, we as Americans can't get enough of fast food.
#1: We like food. The obesity rate is supposedly really fucking high in this country.
#2: We like fast. This is the nation of NASCAR. Not just the sport, but the mentality. We rush to work, we rush to school. We eat tacos in our sedans on the way to pick up Jimmy from soccer practice, or to meet Molly and Sandra for tramp stamps at Mike's.
...I digress. So McDonald's came out with this new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich a few months back. It's their hot new item, and anyone who's anyone is talking about it. I walk down the street, and it's like, "Girl, have you tried that new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich at Mickey D's?!" --- "Girl, please! I fucked the shit out of that sandwich!"
Now, I have to admit: I've tried the damn sandwich. And even I will confess that it did an adequate job of not tasting like feces. But am I the only one who's realized that this shit was done already?
Yeah, that's right: Chick-Fil-A. It's the EXACT same fucking sandwich. Pseudo fried chicken breast? Check. Pickles? Check. The satisfaction of knowing this chicken sandwich was made with the delicate touch of Southern Hospitality? ....Whoa, wait a minute, McDonald's. See, the thing that makes Chick-Fil-A such a badass restaurant is that it's a Southeast chain. SEC Cuisine. And that little fact makes all the difference. They say ambience is important in enjoying a meal. You can't take the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich seriously as a TRUE Southern Style Chicken Sandwich because it's fucking McDonald's. It's their ATTEMPT at trying to appeal to the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich-eating market. And I for one, am somewhat offended.
But my level of offense rose to new heights when I saw the most disgusting piece of not-even-remotely-subtle racism in a commercial I've ever seen.
So I'm watching TV One, the "black lifestyle channel", or essentially the "Not As Offensive As BET" Black Superstation.
So Mickey D's puts out this ad (probably exclusively on said African-American channels) featuring two black women in a nondescript kitchen. They're sharing stories of how grandma used to fry up her chicken, whilst using a paper bag to shake and bake their own fried chicken. And they laugh. It's cute. It's precious. It feels genuinely black.
But then one of them spits out a line that makes me drop the fucking remote control and scream "No!" at the top of my lungs. The one chick says, and I quote, "Well, now, you can get this kind of chicken at McDonald's."
......What....the....fuck??
No you fucking can't! No you fucking can't get genuine, hot, homemade fried chicken at McDonald's. You've got to be kidding me, Mickey D's.
That is NOT how grandma used to make it.
Fuck you, McDonald's. I still love you, but fuck you.
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